and now we wait...

so i did the clomid thing. i started with progesterone for 10 days and got my period. then i took clomid for 7 days and for the last 10 days i've been downing awful vitamin b supplements and mucinex to counteract the "drying" effects of clomid. i've had cramps in the ovary region. my boobs are so sore, even just to the touch of my bra. my cervix seems to have moved through the expected phases of fertility (from low and firm to high and soft and back again). because of the effects of clomid it was hard to measure my cervical fluid--and it didn't help that i was in a bathing suit swimming in the ocean most days (tough, i know). my temp did rise ever so slightly about 3 days ago, though not as much as i would have expected if i actually ovulated. so now i wait. i have no idea if anything happened. i go in for bloodwork on monday; results on tuesday. i could probably take a pregnancy test on sunday at the earliest, but i don't know if i can take the rejection. i'm not optimistic. i really don't think anything happened. i don't know if that's the wrong attitude or not. i can't stand getting my hopes up to have them dashed, so i play the pessimist so i can be pleasantly surprised if things turn out differently. i feel like that is totally the wrong way to go about it. but at this point it is totally out of my  hands. chris and i 'tried' like crazy while we were on vacation. if i ovulated this cycle, we should sure as heck be pregnant because there were plenty of opportunities. :-) but if not, well then i suppose we try again next month. i'm trying not to psych myself out--i felt like i could convince myself that i had all the early signs earlier today. at this point, it could all just be progesterone in my system bringing along the end of my cycle. i need to trust that God knows what the end of this is gonna be. easier said than done. but that's all i have right now. i keep repeating that prayer i used in a previous post. i will glorify God no matter the outcome.