round #2: (likely) fail

i am feeling so disappointed today. i have been monitoring my temps and they just dont seem to want to rise. i went up a smidge yesterday, but it's nowhere near where it should be if i had ovulated this month. i'm on day 18 and by now i should have seen something. i'm crushed. this is like the hardest thing i have ever had to face. of course i won't know for sure until my period comes 10 days from now, but i have a gut feel on this and it just doesn't seem like this is the month. i can't even focus. i have so much to do this week and i can't even concentrate. somehow one of my coworkers figured out we were trying--no idea how. she and i don't even see each other much but she said something this morning and she definitely knows. i hate that she does. cause now she's gonna ask about it. and she means well. but i can't face the questions all the time. i feel like i've been able to put on this brave face and it's slowly becoming something i can't hide anymore. God will there ever be an end to this waiting? to this longing? to this heartache? i don't know how much more i can take.