new title, new purpose

it has been over a month since my last post. i have been thinking a great deal about the purpose of this blog and whether it made sense to continue on with it at all. on some level, i felt like it was inappropriate, as much of what i longed for in the beginning has come to fulfillment. but i do know that this journey is not over. we are beyond blessed to have been given the gift of this child within me. as i long for march to come so i can meet my child, i know that this is not the end of the journey with pcos or infertility. we would love to have more children, and there is a very real possibility that this will be a struggle for us again in the future. there is no cure for pcos. it will not go away with a pill. no diet or exercise regimen will heal the things that aren't working properly inside of me. so, the more i thought about it, the more i realized that this blog ought to have a makeover of sorts; rather than just closing the book on this chapter and moving on, it could serve a new purpose.

so...

this blog will now be entitled, "for this child i prayed". it comes from the book of 1 samuel, where hannah praises God for answering her prayers for a child with her son samuel. i know that this child inside of me is nothing more than an answer to prayer. God is greater than the doctors and than pcos, and it was only through him that we were blessed by this child. and i cannot lose sight of that. as i continue on in this journey of pregnancy, and then rejoin the many others who struggle with pcos, i must not forget that God is greater than any diagnosis. his plan for me and for our family will be accomplished. and there is great joy and peace in that.

shifting focus slightly....we went to the doctor yesterday to finally view our precious baby. turns out we will be bringing home a baby boy next spring. i was shocked and overwhelmed with joy and still cannot believe the images on the screen. the thing that looked so small and shapeless 14 weeks ago has transformed into a fully developed and perfect human being. i am so in love with him already. it is so wonderful to be able to use pronouns when talking to him and about him. and we have narrowed our list of names and i am even trying some of our names out on him. he is a living and beautiful baby and i want him to hurry up and grow so i can hold him in my arms. this blessing overwhelms me. it is far greater than i could have imagined and i am thankful beyond words.