overwhelmed

so far 2012 has been great. we made it through the holidays (which were a wonderful distraction from this seemingly eternal countdown to march) and it was just so exciting to think that this year is the year we get to realize the thing we have prayed for for so long. just two and a half months from now, we will be entering into a huge new world as parents. it's a little intimidating, but i am so excited i can't even think about that part of it. i just want to be there. now.
as this week has worn on, i have really started to feel the stress of all that is coming. i am planning to talk to my boss on monday. she has no idea what's coming. not even the foggiest clue that i am even considering leaving. i thought waiting until after christmas was a good idea but now i'm realizing there is really no good time to do this. there's so much stress in this job and things are just not ever going to get to the point where it's easy for me to submit my resignation. so i just have to do it. and i have to do it monday. and i'm scared. i don't do that kind of thing well. i'm not a crier. in fact i don't really cry much at all. but when i feel like i'm going to disappoint someone, or when i'm nervous, i cry. lame. and add to it all the pregnancy hormones. sheesh, i'm in trouble. prayers would be appreciated. the fearful side of me just wants to write her a letter and let her read it. but i can't be a coward. i need to be honest and respect her by telling her in person. wow, i'm scared.
another big new thing is our birthing class starting this saturday. i'm super excited, but also feeling a little bit like it's 1 am and i'm cramming for an exam i have tomorrow. the class is normally 12 weeks but i've only got 10. apparently we're combining some things but i feel like it's a lot to do and i'm not too geeked about doing it up until the last minute, whenever that is. i'm trying to chill out and wait to see what it's like. i think it'll be fun, but i'm sure chris will be SUPER uncomfortable. i've tried to give him a heads up that this will involve him a lot more than a typical birthing class. after all it is about husband-coached childbirth. i still think he's in for an eye-opening experience. more on that after saturday. :)
i'm closing in on the end of my 30th week this week. i can't believe we've been blessed to come this far. this little boy (sure to be a drummer if his present activity is any indication) has rocked my world already. i find myself having a hard time getting anything done, distracted by the wild movements in my belly. i can tell he already takes after me because he doesn't like the cold (squirms after i drink anything iced). and his wild kicking suggests he might have his dad's big feet :) i just can't wait to see his face and hold him close. 10 more weeks....